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It made me cry...

My former English teacher pops up in my mind today and I looked her up online to see how she is doing, and what I've seen made me cry.

I had an English teacher outside of school when I was studying. She's from Canada and she teaches in a really lively, non boring way and so she had a lot of students at the time when I enrolled in her English courses.

Two years after I graduated from high school, I saw in the newspaper that her husband died in a car accident. Her husband was driving in the middle of the night after tutoring and it was suspected that he was so tired that he fell asleep and the car crashed. I'm sure it was a big blow to her because it was so sudden and unexpected. Her husband left her with a daughter and a tutoring business and some properties.

15 years later, I grew up and her daughter grew up. When I looked her up online today her daughter recently got married in France. And there's an Instagram post by her that described the wedding - it should be the dad holding the hands of the daughter walking into the aisle, but in this case the mom is stepping into the shoes of dad. And when it comes to the first dance, again usually it's the father daughter dance, and her daughter told her that "no worries Mum I'll dance with my husband and you join me soon after". She cried - for her daughter's good marriage, for her husband not being there when their daughter got married, for her husband breaking his promise to walk with their daughter down the aisle, for missing him....

This love between mother and daughter, wife and husband... made me cry. 😢

1

People can leave us very suddenly - it could be any of us. Accident happens.

And it got me thinking, what if today is the last day of my life?

Practically, I need to get my insurance policy ready so that if anything unfortunate happens to me my family got some financial compensation at the very least.

And because I still have a mortgage outstanding on a property I'll make sure that the insurance policy can cover the outstanding mortgage so that my family won't be burdened with the financial obligation.

And since I won't be able to work afterwards, and my parents have retired, I'd like to calculate a bigger lump sum for my family.

And I also have an Investment Portfolio of relatively substantial amounts that my family can either liquidate by exiting all positions in one click, or they could withdraw a certain amount from the account by liquidating in parts.

I feel like there's any to prepare a letter to explain all of the financial arrangements, and where my things are, for example bank accounts, silver and gold, and place the explanation letter where my family can find if unluckily I am not around so they know.

And in the letter I probably would add I'm grateful to have them in this lifetime, I'm happy to be their family as well, even though sometimes we argue, sometimes we don't like each other very much, it's still a good experience in general. And ask them not to be too sad because I know that I live in the soul and it's just my body dead, my soul would be ever living.

I feel like there is not enough information on how to prepare for dying, even though we all die at the end of this life sooner or later. There's not enough people talking about it, perhaps because it's a sad subject, perhaps because it's not something that we would like to pay attention to on a normal day.

Any idea how you can prepare better?

2

It also inspired me to think about what if today is the last day that I see anyone I love. That they could leave me suddenly worked out saying goodbye.

We take things (and people) for granted. We tend to think that they'd be around forever when we're used to their presence. We could even be annoyed by their presence..... until one day they leave us. So the question is : how can we love more when people we love are still around? How can we show them more love, treat them better, and what would be a no-regret way of handling the relationship?

Perhaps I would write them letters.

Perhaps I should buy them gifts, without reasons but just an expression of love and gratitude.

I should thank them more.

I would journal their goods and tell them how amazing they are.

I would spend more time with them - we could go traveling, dining in new restaurants, engaging some experience together, take some good photos.

I would communicate more frequently with them.

Any other ideas you can think of - how to love the people you love more?

3

And that brings me to another question: Do I really know how to love?

I don't think I am good at this, given my previous dating experience I'm not one that is good as expressing my love or giving.

Upon reflection, I'm more on the receiving side in the relationship.

This could be a subject matter that I need to learn and practice more - giving love.

How am I going to do this?

I don't have a complete plan right now but I'm sure I will come up with something later (will share then).

If you have any idea or experience to share in this please let me know as well.

Love,

Connie