Overcoming Shyness and Introversion: Six Books to go from Anxiety to Confident
Greetings, Medium friends! As a creator of online courses focused on increasing learning efficiency and effectiveness through mission-based learning, I’m thrilled to explore a captivating topic: monetizing knowledge and overcoming shyness and introversion.
In this article, we will dive into six empowering books that can liberate readers from the torment of social anxiety. After completing these reads, you’ll be equipped with the tools to confidently leverage your knowledge and monetize your expertise. Let’s embark on this transformative journey!
Book 1: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain
Susan Cain’s “Quiet” champions introversion while dispelling common misconceptions. Through compelling research and storytelling, the book celebrates introverts’ unique strengths and provides strategies for navigating social interactions.
By understanding and embracing your introverted nature, you can thrive in a world that often values extroversion.
Book 2: “The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism” by Olivia Fox Cabane
Olivia Fox Cabane’s “The Charisma Myth” offers practical advice on developing charisma and building connections. By exploring the psychology behind charisma, readers can learn essential techniques for engaging with others, conveying presence, and increasing influence.
This book provides valuable insights for overcoming shyness and developing social confidence.
Book 3: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie’s classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” has transformed the lives of countless individuals struggling with social anxiety.
Packed with timeless advice, practical techniques, and relatable anecdotes, this book teaches readers how to navigate interpersonal relationships, make genuine connections, and gain influence in various aspects of life.
Book 4: “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” by Brené Brown
Brené Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection” encourages readers to embrace their authentic selves. By exploring topics such as vulnerability, self-acceptance, and resilience, this book guides individuals towards a greater sense of self-worth.
Overcoming fears of judgment and rejection can unlock powerful confidence and pave the way for successful knowledge monetization.
Book 5: “Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference” by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler
Jennifer B. Kahnweiler’s “Quiet Influence” focuses specifically on introverted individuals seeking to make an impact. The book highlights introverts’ unique qualities and provides practical strategies for effective communication, leadership, and influence.
By leveraging their innate strengths, introverts can confidently navigate professional and social environments.
Book 6: “The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt” by Russ Harris
In “The Confidence Gap,” Russ Harris explores the psychology behind confidence and offers practical tools to overcome fear and self-doubt. Drawing from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), this book encourages readers to take action aligned with their values, regardless of discomfort.
By embracing the journey of personal growth, individuals can break free from the grips of social anxiety.
Although these are all great books, you’ll realise that after you read the book, you may not be able to apply and perform accordingly after reading. Have you wondered why?
The other day a friend, who is also a business owner, asked me how many books I read last year.
I answered that I lost count.
She was amazed, “did you read a lot? How did you manage to do it amid the busy schedule of running and growing a business?”
There is no speed reading skill involved, I simply didn’t count the number of books because I discovered a suffocating truth last year:
“It’s not about how many books you read, but how much you absorb and apply”
In my last 10 years, I have read more than 300 books. My book shelves are full of books that I have bought and read.
HOWEVER, if you ask me what have you takeaway from these 300 books, my mind would go blank.
It astonished me — how I have read 300 books and failed to say at least 50 things that I’ve learnt from these 300 books (not even 1 thing per book).
That lead me into deep reflection of what is my purpose of reading.
If I am reading for entertaining, then fine.
Entertainment is supposed to be watched / read / listened to and then forgotten. They are meant to be consumed without being mindful.
The problem is I am not reading for entertainment. I am reading for growth, self development and learning.
I have therefore came to a painful conclusion that:
I have wasted 10 years of my time because I didn’t know how to really LEARN.
If you are reading this now and you are a reader who reads for knowledge and growth, congratulations you could have saved a few years (or a lifetime) continuing meaningless reading.
Truth is it is not about how many books / courses you learn, but how much you absorb and apply.
I was a “C” student when I was small.
One day in my high school, the classmate who got the highest mark in the maths exam was sitting next to me. I thought for a moment and asked myself “what was the difference between me and her? Why she can get the highest mark in the class but I only got a mere pass?”
I observed — she was wearing the same uniform as I did. She was sitting just next to me. We were listening to the same teacher. We were using the same maths textbook. There is no difference between me and her — at least from the source of information.
Then I persuaded myself that “if she can do it, I can do it too”.
I started going through each maths questions in the textbook, listening attentively to the teacher, working my way through the maths homework.
In the next exam, I got the highest mark at the class.
What changed? Has I become smarter all of a sudden?
“No, I just started to learn.” I concluded
Previously I was just fulfilling my part as a student, I listened but not learnt, I saw but not learnt, I sat there but not learnt.
Learning is active pursuit of the solution.
If one is reading a book aimlessly, it is not learning because one is not actively pursuing a solution.
Likewise, if one is sitting in the classroom listening to the teacher, it may not be learning because
There is a difference between consumption of information and learning, which is active pursuit of a solution.
Consumption of information does not require any mindful, active thinking, while learning does.
Mindful, active thinking means that you need to analysis whether the information is useful to you in solving the problem at hand (e.g. for maths, whether the formula applies), whether the information is applicable in the scenario (e.g. whether this maths formula is applicable for calculating 3D cube rather than 2D area), whether the information can be used elsewhere (e.g. whether the same formula can be used to calculate other 3D objects) etc.
The difficulty of learning, and why we are not doing it as often as we should, is because learning involve active thinking.
As Earl Nightingale said “men simply don’t think”.
TVs, Netflix, youtube, piecemeal social media posts, movies, radio programs, podcasts, reels, almost all of these major information channels are created for consumption, not learning. For their ultimate purpose is to catch the eyeballs and keep you excited to retain your attention. Their purpose is to entertain and keep your mind empty when you’re consuming those content, so that you feel easy and want more of it.
Learning on the other hand, could feel hard. And we tend to procrastinate when we feel that something is hard (and not urgent). Hence, even though books and some programs are developed for learning purpose, we consume them for the sake of consumption, to feel comforting that we have done something and not wasting time. In fact, we could be lying to ourselves since we are not really learning. Consumption has the same effect across all content. It does not matter whether the content is developed for learning or entertainment, it depends on us to decide whether it is a consumption or learning. If we actively think and pursuit for the solution, we can learn from anything even movies or games (something designed for entertainment). If we let our mind be mentally lazy and simply consume the content, we should not lie to ourselves that we are learning.
Since not many are conscious about the distinction between consumption and learning, this could be your breaking point if you would like to accelerate growth and win over the majority.
There are 3 steps in a close-looped learning system where you can really learn (and not just consume), which is what I share in the course Learning how to learn in a way that makes money”,
1. set a learning mission
2. convert other’s information to your knowledge
#1 How do we find good value, high quality, relevant information?
#2 How can we enhance our cognition in the shortest period of time?
#3 How to improve our focus and understanding?
#4 How to have a team of advisors without breaking the bank?
#5 How to improve learning efficiency by 10% before learning anything?
#6 How to quickly memorise new, unfamiliar information?
#7 How to take smarter and better notes?
#8 How to learn from people ahead of us?
3. internalise knowledge to ability which you can monetise on
#1 How to apply and execute our new knowledge to our life / business / career?
#2 How to validate our understanding and test whether the knowledge is applicable?
#3 How to migrate the knowledge to new territory?
#4 How to consolidate and continuously upgrade our new ability?
#5 How to promote sense of accomplishment for internal motivation?
#6 How to obtain learning feedback frequently?
#7 How to obtain learning results with ease and comfort?
#8 How to record inspiration to facilitate breakthrough?
Conclusion:
Shyness and introversion should never hinder individuals from monetizing their knowledge and making a difference. These six empowering books — “Quiet,” “The Charisma Myth,” “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” “The Gifts of Imperfection,” “Quiet Influence,” and “The Confidence Gap” — provide valuable insights, practical strategies, and inspiration to overcome social anxiety.
By understanding introversion, developing charisma, building connections, embracing authenticity, and fostering confidence, you can unleash your full potential and confidently monetize your knowledge. So, immerse yourself in these transformative reads, embark on a journey of self-discovery, and liberate yourself from the shackles of social anxiety.
Embrace your unique strengths, share your expertise with the world, and embark on a fulfilling path of knowledge monetization.
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